I took a week of vacation and here’s what I realized…
This whole creating my “biggest, bravest life”… it is working.
Did I need a hard reset? Absolutely. But was I eager to get back to my home and work and life? Big time.
I don’t know if I have ever experienced this before, to be honest. The whole “wanting to get back to my life.” I was more of a – “ship all my belongings, I’m never going back. This is my life now. Nice knowin ya.” – kinda girl.
And that’s not to say my vacation wasn’t amazing because it was. I mean we were staying steps away from the beach with family I adore enjoying 60* temps instead of the 30s and 40s back at home. I wasn’t cooking or cleaning. I had extra hands to entertain my kids. It was a dream. A past version of me would’ve wanted to abandon my reality and stay forever.
There’s a quote that I see pop up on my socials often that says something like “The goal is to create a life you don’t have to escape from.” And honestly, I always rolled my eyes at it and thought it was BS. We all know there will always be moments when you’re just screaming because you’re overwhelmed, tapped out, and touched out, and you need a break. The thought of creating a life free of that sounds great but also totally fake.
I think this vacation made me realize though there’s a difference between needing a reset and wanting to escape. For me, the stretches I’m so burnt out and exhausted usually happen because I’m not getting an opportunity to reset. It all piles up…work, parenting, household chores, school stuff, shopping, cooking, events, sports, caring for your family, caring for yourself… and it becomes too much and then my fight or flight response kicks in and I just need out. My brain and my body are begging for an escape. It doesn’t feel like there’s any way to salvage the current reality because it is just too much. Speaking from experience, it happens a lot this time of year as we juggle gift lists, travel, family time, inevitable stomach bugs, etc. on top of everything else.
But, since committing to building and living into my biggest, bravest life I have been so much more intentional about carving out mini resets. Making myself breakfast, moving my body, getting some fresh air, soaking in the daytime quiet, asking for help, going to bed when I want to…So I am operating from a much better and healthier space. (Now, don’t get me wrong, I have plenty of really anxious, really hard moments still. But I think having these built-in resets keeps them from becoming so overwhelming that I need to tap out.)
On top of that, I am doing work I genuinely love. I mean linking arms with other female entrepreneurs, helping them connect with their authentic voice, encouraging them to share their stories, getting creative about how we can breathe new life into their copy, content, and business, and celebrating the small victories like crazy…it is an actual dream come true.
It’s almost like before I had to escape in order to connect with or reclaim other parts of myself that there wasn’t room for in my lived reality. But now that I am making space for myself so that I can show up as my whole self I don’t need to escape to find that connection. I just have to be intentional about allowing myself to reset.
So while I needed to catch my breath, feel my toes in the sand, and hear the waves rolling in, I didn’t need to escape there. I just needed to reset. And I did. And then we drove 12 hours back home and I jumped right back in where I left off because I missed it and I missed you all and this community we’re building.
Thanks for reading.
With so much love and gratitude,
Am